Bliss Queendom

Very rarely do you go somewhere and you really do feel like royalty. This week I have been in Nashville. One of my other places I could live. I have family here so being with them feels like home to me.
Traveling and recovering from surgery last week, toting a wound vac for a week through hotels, trade shows and airports, attending one of the most wonderful conferences for women around, I walk. Offering up opportunity for grace to be shared, expressions of creativity explored and doted over like a newborn, and loving every minute of Blissdom. Why is it we get these opportunities to explore what God had intended for us all along. To understand the meaningness of connection and how that all works to glroify Him.
A sweet woman of God approached me last night as I sipped on a Sam Adams. Yes after yesterday it tasted really good. We were part of the Handmade Market Place with Blissdom. It was incredible but lots of work. I was pooped. As she approached I felt guilty I was having a beer, but even I like a cold beer every once in a while. She began by introducing herself but I was so wrapped up in my head about me holding the beer I did not catch her entire name. Such self centered narrow mindedness I was having.......As she shared with me how my blog had ministered to her as her sister had died in December of Leuikemia. Complimenting my "out there" attitude in my walk through treatment. She said it helps her understand how her sister must have felt. She has been following the journey since the beginning. I was so blessed by her grace, her strength and posture after losing what was obviously a precious part of her life. She turned and was gone.
I missed such an opportunity to connect with one of God's creations who loves because I was so wrapped up in my own silliness. So if you are this person reading this now, please email or twitter me and let me find you again. I have been looking for you all day.....I know God will bring us together before I leave for another year.
Thanks to Blissdom we met, thanks be to God.

Starting Over

Ok this feels horrible.  Not the chemo but that I will have to start over on this series Chemo: HOW DOES IT FEEL?  What started out as good intentions to help others has not been as easy to get accomplished as I thought. A few things happened on the way to OZ.
With the infection I have been fighting I now must have surgery to remove, clean out and give it more opportunity to heal.  Discouraging to say the least.  I am trying to stay positive, but I must admit.  It has been difficult.  I know I will feel much better once this is resolved.  If for some reason it does not get resolved and they have to take the expander out then I start over on that side after chemo to expand the skin, muscle and tissue......I am trusting the process and looking for ways God is blessing me along the way.  I know there is a reason for everything.  I am getting a much needed three week break from chemo.  Then when I resume I will have five more treatments.  The chemo is what is keeping it from healing all the way.  Please pray for me tomorrow as I have my surgery to repair this wound that will heal in Jesus name. Amen.

CHEMO: HOW DOES IT FEEL? DAY 9

After my port was installed, I had chemo that afternoon. I met with the doctor before and we discussed treatment and she patted me on my head, kissed me on the cheek and sent me on my way as she has done for hundreds of others, yet she made me feel special.
Again in anticipation of the medicine, feeling ok here goes and there is no turning back the attentive nurse could tell I was anxious. She gave me something that help with that. I had a port line taped to my chest ready to receive what it is intended for. With every bag they asked me do you know what you are getting today? Then they would show me the bags of medicine and say, " Ok this is blah blah blah and we are going to administer this now. I slept through most of it after they got started. It was all surreal. I mentioned before that I was fine that night, slept great, and even drove home, a five hour drive, from Houston. It was the third and fourth days that were the hardest for me and felt a little flat. Even still it was doable.

All in all chemo has been ok up until this week. Getting an infection really slowed things down. It also played some pretty bad tricks on my mind trying to discourage me. It has actually been nice to have that excuse to rest. I don't need an excuse I realize, but God used this time to show me how vulnerable I really am and how much more I needed Him to take care of me and how much I needed to take care of myself. Again humility.

So why is God having me learn more about humility? Isn't losing your breasts and having cancer humility enough? Is that rude for me to say? Or think? Is that more of that prideful mole I need to bop in the head again? It has given me more to think about. I have felt like my life is just a big mess. I have settled into a big pity party this morning when I couldn't find mt phone. I thought that is it. I am done. I can't even keep up with my phone. How irresponsible blah blah blah, whine whine whine. Then God said," flip back the covers on your bed". PHONE!
Why do I go into the worthless feelings instead of worthy prayer when I get like that? Pitiful if you ask me, but hoping the lesson sticks this time. Even in my prideful anguish my God does not hesitate or resist an opportunity to help me see how He is waiting for me to cry out to Him.
This week I have been a day late with each post. That should tell me something. So I am digging in the Word today looking for answers.